Missing Parts
by cryurname
Summary: After being tortured at the hands of Niska, Wash has a hard time sleeping. Having now been tortured himself, he can't help but think about all the wounds Zoë has had and how they must have affected and still affect her. Post War Stories.


And he was flying, from the land out into the black. The stars twinkled as he passed them by. Nothing could touch him out here. He was safe, surrounded by his wife and his friends (and Jayne). The excitement within him swelled as he pushed Serenity to go faster and faster. He was the king of the 'verse.

And then he felt the pain of electricity coursing through his body, two electrodes now stuck to his chest. Where was he? Serenity was gone now, replaced by Niska and his cold, beady eyes.

No, this wasn't happening again. He saw Zoё enter the room, coming to free him again. No. No, he lived through this already. Wasn't once enough? He watched helplessly as Zoё made the deal with Niska. He was freed and shortly after the screams of Mal were echoing through his mind. No…

"No!" Wash yelled as he sat up in his bed. Zoё sat up, her eyes wide with worry as she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Wash? What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. Everything's fine, lamby-toes," he said, trying to sound like his normal cheery self.

"Wasn't nothin', husband. Did you have another nightmare?"

"All right, you got me. I gotta stop playing with my dinosaurs before bed; have dreams about getting eaten by a T-Rex every time," Wash joked as he climbed out of bed and threw on an undershirt and pajama pants. Before Zoё could say anything, he was already climbing the ladder up and out of their bunk.

Wash walked to the cockpit and sat down in his chair. He stared out at the stars silently. He heard footsteps behind him and automatically started to say, "I'm okay, Zo, really, go back to sleep…" He turned around to see that it wasn't Zoё but River who had come up behind him. "Oh, River, I'm sorry. I thought you were…"

"Zoё, I know," River said as she sat down in the seat next to the pilot's seat. "You can't sleep?"

"No. Haven't been able to for the past week."

"I know. We both have dreams. Dream of people that have taken parts of us away and have replaced those parts with something we never wanted."

"Yeah…something like that," Wash said as he leaned back in his chair. "If what happened at the skyplex has affected me this much…gotta wonder…"

"How many parts of Zoё are missing?" River asked.

"Well…yeah. After everything that happened in the war and then her job now on Serenity... The position I was in with Niska is a position she's been in dozens of times."

"And that scares you," River said, saying it as a statement rather than a question.

"Yeah; but it shouldn't."

"No 'should' or 'shouldn't'. It is what it is.

"I never understood before. How many nightmares has Zoё hidden from me? How many times have I watched her hurry out of the bunk in the middle of the night?" Wash couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth. He normally wouldn't talk about this with anyone. Weird thing was, seemed like River already knew what he was thinking.

"You couldn't understand before. Now you realize that the darkness makes a home inside of you and then eats away at your every thought. Chewing. Munching. Until it eats you whole."

"Creepy thing is, I understand exactly what you just said."

"You see her differently now," River said, ignoring Wash's remark.

"Yes. But not in a bad way. I always thought Zoё was strong; I knew about her hard past. But now I understand it and I realize that she's even stronger than I could've imagined."

"She amazes you," River said, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"Yeah, that she does."

"But you're still worried about the parts that are missing, filled up by darkness." River didn't wait for him to reply. "She likes you because you fill her up with light. And you'll realize that she does the same thing for you when you need her to." River got up and walked back to the bunk that was across from her brother's, her bare feet seeming as if they barely touched the ground.

Wash turned back to look out into space again. Despite River's confusing way of talking, she made some good points. Didn't even get a chance to thank her. But did it really matter? She probably knew already anyway.

Wash stood up and headed back to his bunk. He climbed down the ladder and then crawled back into bed with his wife. Zoё stirred lightly.

"Wash? Are you feeling better now?" She turned over to face him tiredly, her eyes small slits.

"Yeah, I'm fine now, baby. Go back to sleep."

"You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Already did," Wash said, more to himself than to Zoё.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. Baby…I ever tell you how much you amaze me?"

Zoё chuckled lightly, "You drunk, husband?"

"No more than usual," Wash said grinning. He cuddled up next to Zoё and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, Zo."

"I love you, too."

Wash slept peacefully the rest of the night, his wife in his arms.


End file.
